Professional Behavior:

How to be Happier at Work

When I first became a manager, I was not very successful. My staff disliked me, their work was often second rate, their morale was low, and turnover was high. I soon realized that my staff wasn’t responsible for the problems, my poor management techniques were. I needed to find a better way to manage. To tackle this problem, I asked myself what type of behavior I expected and desired from my own boss. I used this as a model for treating my staff. When I began treating people as I would want to be treated, my results improved dramatically. My own happiness and job satisfaction improved as well.

I also wanted to become more effective and knew that understanding office politics was important. The key is getting people to want to help you, so you have to be liked. I started studying other people’s behaviors to see what I could copy to become more popular and influential. I took notes of my observations of what I liked and disliked about my coworkers and bosses, trying to find successful behaviors to copy and unsuccessful behaviors to avoid. Those notes eventually became this table.

As I modified my own behaviors, and people began to respond to me in a more positive way, I discovered an unintended side effect. I started liking other people more and became far more tolerant of their mistakes and shortcomings. I became kinder. It was a very positive change for me.

I’ve revised this list several times, adding and deleting from it as I was promoted into higher levels of authority and as my understanding of management grew. I added a leadership section in March 2005.

Because this tool has had such a positive effect on my own life, I want to share it with others. I hope you find it useful.

Acting as an Individual
Positive Behaviors	Negative Behaviors
Solves problems	Leaves problems for others
Gets results	Makes excuses
Talks about work	Gossips
Looks for extra tasks	Puts in time
Builds a team	Builds factions, betrays coworkers
Encourages	Complains
Shares information	Withholds information
Helps others	Hinders others
Is honest and forthright	Steals and tells lies
Accepts responsibility	Blames others
Learns from mistakes	Hides and repeats mistakes
Innovates, tries new techniques	Refuses to change
Produces quality work	Does sloppy work
Shows up on time	Keeps people waiting
Keeps customers happy	Doesn't think about service
Meets deadlines	Moves slowly
Improves themselves	Thinks, “I can’t do it.”
Welcomes and learns from constructive criticism	Resents all criticism
Expands responsibilities	Says, "It's not my job."
Is pleasant to work with	Is aloof and unfriendly
Is considerate	Is rude
Forgives	Carries grudges
Smiles	Frowns
Gives compliments	Gloats over mistakes by others
Has fun	Hates their job
Dresses appropriately	Dresses like a slob
Anticipates consequences	Is constantly surprised
Never acts in anger or spite	Lashes out
Does what's right	Does what's expedient

Acting as a Leader and Manager
Positive Behaviors	Negative Behaviors
Builds a strong team by stressing collaboration	Creates fear by stressing internal competition
Cares about others	Only looks out for # 1
Listens to other people’s ideas	Refuses to compromise
Consults affected parties before acting	Makes uninformed decisions
Leads by example	Leads by fear
Builds people up	Tears people down
Takes on the toughest tasks	Delegates the undesirable tasks
Provides clear guidance and gets out of the way	Micromanages and/or ignores subordinates
Communicates clearly and often	Communicates poorly and without tact
Is careful to avoid techniques that de-motivate	Thinks people need motivating and manipulating
Instructs and explains	Gives orders and makes demands
Encourages growth	Withholds opportunities
Forgives minor mistakes	Carries grudges
Provides meaningful, positive feedback	Ignores quality work, focuses on negatives
Provides resources	Hoards resources
Views subordinates as respected customers	Views subordinates as servants or irritants

The Payoff: Outcomes of Your Behavior Choices:
You are respected and admired	You are disliked and despised
People smile when they see you	People avoid you
You earn promotions and rewards	You wonder why others get the rewards
You like yourself	You dislike yourself
Other people will help you	Nobody will willingly help you.
You live a great life	You live a miserable life

Good luck with your choices!